Bullet Train
by Butterfree
Summary: "He couldn't move, forced to watch the doors shut and the boy escape his grasp faster than a bullet train." A story where Hinata Shouyou has amnesia and steadily regains the parts of his life that he had lost. The problem is, Kageyama Tobio is the one biggest piece which refuses to return. Why is he so adamant on erasing himself?
1. Cherry-Flavored

"And there he is!" Kageyama found himself choking on his milk when a spastic arm reached out to hold him in a half-hug. He turned his head to glare at the first-years. But lo and behold, they simply laughed. He wondered what unforeseen event turned him from the oppressive king that intimidated everyone to the butt of their jabs half the time.

He gave up trying to scare them in exchange for looking out for that certain unforeseen event in the crowd. "Where's Hinata? Usually he'd be scaling the walls."

The three boys, all with different color buzz-cuts shrugged. "He said he was going to take a nap and join us later."

No. No _fucking_ way. They just won their practice game. Their coach and teachers agreed to pay for dinner in town later. And unless there was someone holding Hinata down with chains and piranhas nipping at his toes, he'd be seeing some serious wall scaling right about now. Without another word, Kageyama made an excuse to leave the celebration. Within seconds, he swung the door to the team's sleeping chambers open. It looked more like a small room with twenty futons spread on the ground.

Sure enough, one single futon lay occupied with a shivering lump, blankets so askew and green that Kageyama could've mistaken him for a cabbage roll. He voiced this out loud, earning a defensive "shut up, Bakageyama" in return.

"You're sick."

"Am not!"

"Are too."

"Am no-!" Hinata shot back to face him, only to sneeze right in the setter's general direction.

"Gee, thanks." The stuffed boy groaned as Kageyama made a show of wiping his face with his sleeve. They were in their third year at Karasuno and still bickered like they always did. Whether it was during the graduation ceremony of their senpai's and realizing that god no, they were stuck with Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, or in their unified climb to take runner-up at the Nationals earlier this year. Their high school careers as volleyball players were over. But the two oddball senpai's as the first and second years called them wanted to jam in as many practice games and team outings as they could. Currently, they were at a small training camp in Katsushika.

Without thinking, Kageyama ran a finger across the middle blocker's forehead. He flinched back at the searing heat. "Seriously? You're _not_ getting back up, idiot." He didn't notice how Hinata's face seemed to grow even warmer. Instead, a gruff hand reached into his duffel bag by the wall to pull out a bottle of liquid medicine. The attached spoon was wiped with a napkin and offered. "I'll tell coach Ukai that you can't participate tomorrow."

"Ew, cherry-flavored? I'm not drinking that!"

He let out some sort of long-winded sigh. "I'll toss to you an extra twenty times when you're better."

Hinata's mouth was clamped over the spoon faster than his eyes could adjust.

Two days passed like this; no Hinata by his side when he went to brush his teeth in the morning, no Hinata adjacent and yelling at the top of his lungs despite being five feet away from him as he set into solid spikes; just Hinata curled up in bed as his fever passed. He only left the nest to eat, take his medicine, or go to the bathroom. By the final night before they were to depart back to Karasuno, the fever had teetered off into a weak cold.

"That's number ten, the flying middle blocker!" A decidedly high girly-voice imitated.

"Right, and this is Bobby, my flying middle finger." *

Snickers erupted around the team as they recalled the look on their faces when that flying middle blocker and his setter crushed them into the earth. It was dinner and the Karasuno team were imitating two of the most annoying opponents they'd ever faced in court. The game was two days ago and these bumbling morons were still talking about it. But through his frustration, Kageyama smirked. Of course he ended up scaring a passing cleaner in the process.

"So uh, the year's almost over, huh?" The conversation suddenly turned around. It was three months from graduation. "I can't believe it!"

"Me neither. Just watch us take champion next year!"

From his evil corner of darkness, Tsukishima piped up. "Oi, you think you amateurs can do that on your own? His majesty and his queen will be gone too."

Kageyama choked on his milk, _again_.

"Ooh man, that's right…!" At this, the smiles turned slightly more strained. Kageyama refused to believe they just all agreed that calling Hinata his `queen' was natural. Cheerful group or not, they would miss the trademark bickering duo. One first year, a lanky and shy brunet eyed Kageyama warily.

"What are you p-planning to do when you graduate, Kageyama-senpai?"

_Play volleyball._ It was the first thing that came to mind. The sport was practically as necessary to him as eating, sleeping, and breathing. But then there was the question of where. Getting into some college with a first-rate volleyball team through entrance exams was out of the question. Does that mean he has to study? Let's not talk about that. Then, how far will he go? _To the world, of course._

A shock of nostalgia splashed into the setter's veins. _You'll follow me…even to the top of the world?_

It was just a naïve question he asked two years ago before their first official match, directed at a determined ball of sunshine with clenched fists and unwavering eyes. It was slapped with such a metaphorical 'duh' at the time. Now that the time to graduate and go their separate ways drew nearer, it seemed less and less probable.

In the end, Kageyama couldn't answer.

As much as he hated it when little brats dwelled on things that couldn't be changed, he found himself still waking in the middle of the night, hours after everyone else in the room ignited the silence with their snores. It wasn't so much what he would do; Kageyama always just took things as they came. Where he went didn't matter. But what would his new teammates be like? Would they be like the ones at Karasuno? Would he meet a spiker like Hinata? What will _Hinata_ do?

Shit. He did not just think that. Kageyama crawled out from under his blankets to the local kitchen. He needed some milk.

His eyes adjusted to the dark nicely and as the tall boy passed the overhead, they focused right on the fridge sitting on the side. The light filled the room and made him squint. Wanting to get far away from it as soon as possible, he swiped a milk box and very nearly slammed the door, turning around to sip the drink. What he saw next was messy orange hair. A very frozen Hinata was crouched on top of the counter with Mentos in one hand and a bottle of coke in the other.

"…What are you doing?"

"U-Uhm, Noya-senpai called telling me about this _really _useful thing that'll make this cold go away in a flash!"

"You're really bored, aren't you?"

Caught, red-handed. "YES. KAGEYAMAAAA! I wanna do something! Staying in bed is so BORING!" Kageyama shushed him by grabbing his mob of hair. Damn, why was he so loud?

The taller of the two confiscated the coke and Mentos before god forbid, Hinata found some way to destroy the house with them. Once he started touching things let alone touching things when bored and sick, Kageyama knew he'd wake up to something in pieces tomorrow. So, giving in was the better choice. "Fine. Let's make a deal."

Hinata sniffed loudly. "…a deal?"

"I can't sleep either. It's late but we should still be able to take a walk at least-"

"YAY! Really!? Thanks Kageyama!"

"-IF you bundle up. No volleyball shorts."

He pouted. "You're so stingy. Fine."

Ten minutes later found Kageyama in a simple sweatshirt and jacket standing next to a chubby pile of clothes. On second inspection, it was actually the middle blocker in a thick snow coat, earmuffs, and two scarves wrapped so snuggly that only his nose and eyes were visible. They left the driveway, Hinata nearly dropping a mitten, and walked up the streets. Through intense debate, the two invented a rule to go the whole night only taking left turns. Neither had ever visited this city before. On the forth intersection, they passed the colorful doors of a café called Bisukyui.

"C-Can we go in, Kageyama?! Please, please, please, please!" Photos of tarts and pudding littered the windows to the point they both almost started drooling.

"It's two am. They're not even open." Kageyama hid the disappointment on his face. It was their last night in Katsushika. Every chance they had to experience the sweets had already been curb stomped. The ball of sunshine dropped into a pout so fierce it could've killed someone if it were not obscured by the scarf. Of course, to save the innocent, Kageyama coughed. "We'll take another trip here some other time. Stop acting like it's the end of the world, dumbass."

Almost instantly, Hinata sprung up. "I-I'm not! It's just when you eat nothing but cherry-flavored goo and porridge, it makes your mouth taste like squid dipped in peanut butter mixed with soy sauce and-" Hinata cut himself off, as if just processing what Kageyama said. "You mean it?"

"Yes." Somewhere in his head he could imagine Tsukishima hollering '_planning a royal date, king?_' and why did it have to sound exactly like him? Curse his accuracy. "You're fine with that, right?"

That sunny smile which never failed to nearly make Kageyama tumble over his own feet graced Hinata's face. It didn't help that the wool hanging from it made him seem that much more adorable. "Okay!"

They passed two particularly large trees by the riverside. Hinata was skipping. He was much happier all of a sudden and Kageyama couldn't place why. Sometime in their venture, the road opened up beside a hill and a bridge. The incline looked so tempting to lie on. As if reading his thoughts, his companion bounded down the hill and collapsed over a patch of grass, arms spread as if he hadn't breathed fresh air in decades. Reluctantly, Kageyama followed suite.

The green was damp. Small pebbles pressed into his thin jacket. He could hear light coughs beside him, but this moment was one of those he'd categorize in his memories as perfect.

Being the boy who could never sit still, Hinata eventually got bored. He fidgeted with the zipper of his puffy coat, picked at any blades of grass he could get his hands on, before finally bolting up. By then, the stripped scarf had fallen enough to reveal a sly grin. Kageyama felt an impending sense of doom. That always meant Hinata was hiding something cool from him.

Sure enough, the orange-head produced a volleyball out of nowhere. "Ta-da!"

Dark eyes widened. "Where did you get that?"

"I was hiding it in my coat!" The bastard seemed so proud of himself. "I thought you knew? Why else would there be a bulge in my stomach?"

"Doesn't that happen just before the contractions or-"

Hinata gaped. His face flushed to a shade which rivalled his hair. "BAKAGEYAMA. That's _pregnancy_, not a cold!"

"Oh…I've never gotten sick before."

"Seriously…?! That's cool! …And kind of stupid."

Kageyama, feeling nice today, chose to let that comment go by snatching the ball away. He tossed it up about a meter with one hand, catching it and tossed again. He could feel warm brown eyes boring into his motions in envy. Anyone who passed by could swear they saw a puppy tail wagging vigorously behind the red-head's back.

The corners of his lips twitched upward. _This._ This is what he'll miss when he graduates. All of him, from the gleaming eyes to rocking feet screamed irritating yet Kageyama could no longer imagine living without it.

_Why does it hurt?_

_What do I call this feeling?_

Finally, Hinata snapped. He leapt up. "Toss to me!"

The outburst jolts Kageyama from his stupor. All he could do was scoff. "Five minutes, or else you'll get sick again." It was a bit hilarious. Watching the fat bundle of wool try to chase after the ball wouldn't be so bad if Hinata's scarf wasn't trailing behind him in the wind. He tripped over it twice. The mittens separating ball from hand nulled the sound of Hinata's solid spikes into something that was akin to a pancake being flipped. Sometimes he'd sneeze in mid-air and fall on his butt quite gracefully.

It wasn't all Hinata's fault. The dark-haired boy was missing almost half his tosses. At the four minute mark, something gave out when Kageyama felt himself being tackled. "Ow, what did you do that for?!"

"See!" The short third year puffed out his chest. "I knew it. There is something wrong with you! Normally you'd respond with a," he flattened his hair and scowled. "_Watch where you're going, dumbass. We don't need another megane on this team._"

Kageyama glared. He was half speechless. Count on the moron to notice. "That's not true!"

"Oh YEAH…? Then why have you been missing so many tosses?"

"It's the…" a mosquito chose this perfect moment to fly past him "…bugs."

"The bugs."

"Y-Yes, you idiot. They keep flying around my face so I can't see. Their buzzing drowns out your breathing, and they keep biting me."

Hinata didn't look impressed. "Great, now what's the_ real_ reason?" When his friend averted his eyes, he bounded up to him, leaving the volleyball forgotten on the ground. As if to spite him, Kageyama avoided looking at the packet of sunshine by tilting his head up. That worked until Hinata began bouncing on his feet. "Tell me!"

"I don't know what you're talking about." The setter crossed his arms.

"You are such a tsundere." Once again, Hinata held down his orange locks and imitated a leer. "_Tsun Tsun._"

"What the hell is that supposed to be? A call?"

"_Hello, my name is Kageyama Tobio and I'm the biggest tsundere of all time. Tsun Tsun._"

Kageyama seized the collar of his jacket. "Shut up!"

"_I would never say that anywhere other than the confines of my fluffy pink room though. Tsun._"

"My room's _BLUE_, you nitwit-!"

"_Did I mention I have a brilliant best friend? He's the smartest and most talented guy I know. Tsun Tsun. I wish I could be like him one day._"

"More like he's a buffoon who has to work ten times harder than anyone else to achieve the same goddamn thing!" If he wasn't sick he'd chuck the brat over his shoulder.

"But," Hinata's sudden change back to his high-pitched voice startled him. "I get the job done, right?"

Lowering the middle blocker back to the ground, the tips of his lips curled into a smirk. "Has it ever been anything else?"

It was then a particularly chilly breeze from their right struck them off guard. Hinata shivered, feeling the cold crawl up his neck. He let out one booming sneeze. Kageyama swore it was so loud he heard it echo in the distance. He picked up the neglected volleyball. His arm nearly flinched back as another fly bit him on his palm. He wasn't _completely _lying about the bugs. "Let's go back before you wake up the entire neighbourhood."

"But Kageyama…!" He whined. "You still haven't told me anything!"

"Pipe down. I'll…" Kageyama looked away. "I'll tell you tomorrow."

Tomorrow couldn't have come any sooner. He swore he was in his covers one second, blinked, and suddenly woke to half his teammates tripping over each other as they hurried to pack their things. From the corner of his eye, he could make out a fully-ready Yamaguchi urging 'Tsukki' awake with pokes. His orange-haired partner still lay sound asleep near the door where his futon was relocated for emergencies.

As he got up to brush his teeth and change, Hinata was barely stirring. When it was breakfast, Kageyama was the first one to eat his vegetables lest Sugawara's motherly instincts cut in and he received an eerie '_are you eating well?_' text again. He sat on the bus alone, Takeda insisting that Hinata be close to Ukai in case he wasn't feeling well, seeing as the Coach had the most medical experience. All in all, the two of them had no chance to exchange even their normal greetings until they stood waiting in the train station. Their teacher and coach went to order food to have during the ride. The rest of the team was off exploring the nearby boutiques since they arrived half an hour early. Hinata had been the first to jump at the idea but had to stay behind. Kageyama was nominated to keep him company.

Beside him, Hinata blew his nose. They long claimed the abandoned benches as their own. A silver bullet train whirred by behind them, its red streaks passing in a blur. It felt like being hit with a tornado every few minutes. But the pressure was not exactly the ideal conditions for someone recovering from a fever.

Kageyama nudged him softly. "Hey, want to move?"

"No way!" Red hair shook itself adamantly. "When the train whizzes by you, it feels really cool."

"I guess." Kageyama adjusted the strap of his bag. Another blast of wind pushed at their backs, this time an excited grin spreading across his friend's face. He felt his knees go weak to the point that Kageyama was pretty sure if he wasn't sitting, he would've fallen down. Hinata's smiles have just been getting more…radiant recently. He willed himself to check his watch instead. It was getting pretty late and no one had returned yet. At this rate, he and Hinata would end up boarding the train without them. They would be impossible to catch. "It's weird when you think there are people inside."

"Huh? Why's that weird?"

An odd image clouded his head then. It was Hinata skipping into the threshold of the train headed to who-knows-where. He couldn't move, forced to watch the doors shut and the boy escape his grasp faster than a bullet train. The setter shook it out immediately.

_It was that feeling again._

"…Hinata."

"Hm?"

"Well, you…" he trailed off. "W-What are you planning to do after graduation?"

The answer was instantaneous. "Play volleyball!"

"Obviously, dumbass. I mean, other than that."

"There's something else?"

Kageyama rolled his eyes. "Of course. Things like what school to go to, getting a job, what team you have to play for, st-starting a family…" The crease in his eyebrows grew deeper and his cheeks flushed pink. Stupid. It was just a question. _Stop being embarrassed!_

Hinata stared at him in awe. "Is that what you were worried about? Whoa, maybe _you're_ the one who's sick!"

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

They were interrupted by another sneeze. The tissues piling around Hinata's lap was beginning to look like a snow mountain. "Ugh, you know I'm bad at thinking about these things, Kageyama. I'll leave it up to you. Do that weird analysing thing you always do."

At this point the king was lost. "Why am I deciding?"

"Why not? It's going to be your team too."

Kageyama froze. The _bump-bump-bump_ of his heartbeat sped up in a really stupid way. Emphasis on really.

He always expected Hinata to answer something boundless like '_I wonder what the college the little giant attended was like_' or '_I want to see the senpai's again._' It was clouded, sure, and hidden behind insults like how they always talked to each other. But the '_I'll just play volleyball with you, Kageyama_' rang clear in his head and never, _never_ in a million years did the once antisocial tyrant even consider that as Hinata's response to a normally very difficult question. The idea of them separating never made it past the entrance way to Hinata's head.

That sneaky little bastard.

"O-Oi, y-you want to fight, Kageyama?"

"SHUT UP. How many times do I have to tell you that I'm just _smiling_…?!"

-H-H-H-H-H-H-

Today was the day. As cliché as it sounded, it was still true if the constant blare of camera flashes and squeals were any indication. The light sent stars to the back of vision every few seconds. It had him blinking spasmodically.

"Stay still, smile!" Kageyama couldn't fathom why his mother was so excited to take fifty pictures of him wearing the same suit with the same expression standing in the same hallway in one of those tacky rented square hats that looked the same for everyone. Yet he obliged anyway. He drew the line when she began messing with his hair though. _No one_ touches the hair. The woman stepped back and frowned at him. "Come on Tobio! Let your mother have some good photos to commemorate this day. You're my only son after all."

He grunted. "Just one more, mom. We're going to be late."

The tall brunette clapped her hands together before arranging his bangs in some offside style he wouldn't be caught dead in. After one more snap, the two packed their small belongings for the night and boarded the family car. His mother was in a light white dress which hugged her knees and wore her hair back with a floral fascinator. She grazed her face with a peachy tone of lipstick to compliment navy blue eyes, and honestly looked more like Tobio's older sister with brown hair. Actually, Kageyama couldn't recall her appearance changing at all since he was a toddler. Yes, she was one of _those_ people.

The venue of the graduation ceremony and after party was a twenty-five minute ride by car; not too short so Kageyama wouldn't have time to think nor too long to become agonizing. As his thoughts often did recently, they wandered to Hinata. A passing crow sitting on a street lamp, an orange balloon stuck in a tree a block away from their house; they all pointed back to his annoying partner.

He wasn't so tense anymore. There was a weight on his shoulders he didn't know about which seemed to grow as graduation snuck closer. He didn't even know it was there until after the training camp when it was very nearly lifted. It brought him back to Hinata's stuffed nose and scrunched eyes as he blew into a tissue. The tiny ball of sunshine wanted to stay with him, playing volleyball of course. He wasn't stupid enough to get carried away. Kageyama assumed that meant volleyball was still Hinata's first priority. His best friend was second. And he convinced himself that was okay.

Because he didn't have to worry about being alone again. Never would he relive that day where he threw a back pass, full intent on tasting victory, just to face an empty court minus a battered ball rolling off to the side. At least, for now, Hinata will be with him. Kageyama still couldn't understand why something in his chest did back flips when he thought of the boy.

"What's on your mind, Tobio?" The setter flinched. To his horror, his mother had full view of his now flushed face through the rear-view mirror.

"I-It's nothing." He knew that wouldn't satisfy her curiosity so came up with an excuse. "Just thinking of a way to keep Hinata from doing something stupid like trip on stage when he's accepting his certificate." Well, it's true.

Big mistake. Instantly the woman's eyes lit up. She always had a slight adoration for the middle blocker, and Kageyama had an aching suspicion it was because Hinata acted like his polar opposite a majority of the time. But, there was something else in his mother's gleam this time around. It was a glint like she knew something he didn't. "Ah, Hinata-kun is such a sweet boy. I'm sure he'll be fine."

Kageyama snorted. He turned back to the window, watching the passing scenery. His mother didn't seem to want to drop the topic though. "Did Hinata tell you what he's going to do after graduation?"

"We were thinking," he paused, trying to remember the name of the school, "of going to Tokai or just trying out for a national team." Where they went didn't matter too much to either of them as long as they got to play. All paths could lead to the world.

She hummed. "I see. I'm glad. I was scared how you'd fare out but with Hinata-kun there I can rest easy. You aren't the most capable, Tobio."

"Mom!" She laughed.

"Still, if there's anything on your mind, you can talk to me too." The car was resting at a stoplight. From the front windows they both spotted a lady walking her golden retriever across the street. "You will always be my baby, Tobio."

Kageyama had a very familiar retort for these situations when his mother got too emotional. But the words died halfway up his throat. That's right. He could ask his mother. Consulting Hinata was a huge no for obvious reasons. The only one of his Karasuno teammates he was comfortable asking was Sugawara or Daichi, but they lived miles away and having to inquire over the phone felt like those scenarios when guys would break up with their girlfriends with a text. Like the romance movies he was forced to watch when nothing else was on told him, that was also a definite no.

"I might have something," he breathed. "When…when your bloodstream starts pumping like a volleyball is being served into your stomach all the time," he watched her undivided stare and scrunched his eyebrows. This was so embarrassing to word. "Y-Your feet freaking freeze in the middle of summer so that you can't move properly and it keeps making you miss receives, but it's not a bad feeling. And…all you can think about is whatever's causing this…" At this point he was staring at his sweaty palms. He wasn't used to being so talkative to her. "What is that?"

What he didn't expect was a knowing smile in return. "Oh Tobio. You're in love."

-H-H-H-H-H-H-

Sugawara Koushi was in the middle of consoling a smoldering Daichi, who was busy calmly grinning at the traffic jam in front of them, when his phone rang. Asahi, turning a pale blue in the backseat was too forgone in his thoughts that both had long given up on getting much of a response from him. Digging into his bag, he pulled out the device to the notification of a text.

_[5:31 pm]  
From: Kageyama Tobio  
To: Sugawara Koushi  
Topic: Do I need therapy?_

The senpai sighed. He snapped the lid shut and ignored the message. It was supposed to be a nice surprise visit where the old members of Karasuno went to congratulate their kouhai, but it looked like Sugawara would have to have a long chat with Kageyama after all.

-H-H-H-H-H-H-

The ceremony was nice. A hall filled with a hundred and forty people squashed up against each other was filled with a nice atmosphere. They all wore nice enough outfits with matching hair accessories and fresh tears in their eyes. Their different perfumes mixed together to create a scent of sweat and flowers that wasn't so nice but bearable. The vice-principal flashing a new pompadour wig gave a nice speech on a nice warm spring evening. Everything was pretty nice.

Then there was Hinata. He was gorgeous.

In a totally platonic best friends way, of course.

He sat proudly in the black gown which bunched up at his feet due to his short stature. His hair criss-crossed in patterns that reminded Kageyama of a destroyed bird nest with hints of gel smeared in some areas as an attempt to tame the beast just to give up halfway through. His square hat fell off every five minutes. The tassel laid a tangled mess. He looked jumpy, like a six year old forced to dress nicely and not yell at the top of his lungs at his uncle's wedding.

Kageyama was sure there wasn't anything he found more beautiful.

Damn it. Where was that therapist?

He managed to keep himself from staring for that part where students marched up to the stage to receive their diplomas. Thanks to their last names, this meant Kageyama was seated as far as possible from Tsukishima and Yamaguchi's snickers while Hinata sat almost directly in front of him. The dumbass was so nervous. Kageyama was half tempted to volunteer and wait on the stage to give him a 'graduation toss'. It would certainly calm his nerves.

Unfortunately, Kageyama's predictions came true. Hinata tripped on a stair when they called his name. He promptly did a face palm. _Why do I love that idiot?_

Yes, love. It took all of ten minutes of the rest of the car ride for him to accept the fact. He was utterly in love with his best friend. Now he had no idea what to do about it. _Telling him_ was the absolute last option on his list of possible solutions. _Keeping it secret so not to fuck everything up_ was the first. Despite that, some irritating itch grew in the pit of his stomach. He had to tell at least someone.

So he voiced these thoughts to Sugawara when the young man was the first to seek him in the rush of bodies heading towards the after party. Sugawara was caught off guard, not expecting that to be the first thing Kageyama said to him. He opened his mouth but was interrupted by a proud Daichi and shaking Asahi who finally managed to spot them.

"There you are, Koushi. You went on ahead and we lost you." Sugawara sent an apologetic smile. Their ex-captain turned his attention to a pink-faced Kageyama. "It's been a while, Kageyama! Congratulations. You really lived up to Karasuno's name."

Kageyama nodded in thanks. He saw the captain nudge Asahi and the latter twitch in fear. "C-Congratulations, Kageyama."

A smirk painted his face. Some things never change. He bowed. "Thank you very much f-"

"ASAHI!" Everyone within a ten meter radius stared in shock as a short man with a bleached fringe tackled Asahi to the ground. The tall man shrieked. Even as the mini assailant jumped off to offer a sheepish hand, Asahi sat motionless. "It's been forever! How have ya been?"

It didn't take a genius to figure out this person was Nishininoya. Daichi laid a supportive hand on the libero's shoulder. "Now. Why don't you calm down and apologize to the guests?" Indeed, some people were eying them wearily. Half were whispering about an old yakuza man attacking a little boy. Nishinoya wasn't so concerned with that rather than the dark aura emanating from the captain. Without missing a beat, he bowed profusely to the crowd dispersing for drinks.

"It's great, isn't it?" Kageyama jumped a little at the sudden voice beside him. His heart automatically sped up. Since when did Hinata get here? "Everyone came to surprise us. We have such AMAZING senpai's!" Kageyama grunted in agreement.

They reunited with Tanaka at the juice machine, drinking its contents straight from the nozzle much to the parents' annoyance. Tsukishima was off in his corner of darkness again listening to music. Yamaguchi occasionally left his side to bring back any interesting snacks.

The odd group stayed at the party for the next two hours. Most of it was watching Tanaka and Nishinoya dance their pants off. Or his shirt off, in Tanaka's literal case. There was one point the short libero scurried to their table to drag Asahi out to the dance floor. But Asahi simply wiggled out of his grasp with a flustered look and went to hide behind the centerpiece. Nishinoya didn't try again. Kageyama had to raise a brow at that. _What happened to them?_

"-and then there was this giant octopus in a top hat crushing the building and _are you listening to me?_"

Kageyama eyed Hinata, who by now had switched his graduation gear for a pointed party hat. "Yes. There were explosions and helicopters with guys coming out of it then a bomb and transforming robots and more explosions."

Hinata made a face. "You were ignoring me!"

"I was pretty close." He tried to salvage what he could.

"I'm bored." The middle blocker fell back to his seat as if it was some big announcement. Indeed, they were starting to notice some students tapping away on their phones. Tsukishima had just been doing that since the very beginning. "I want to play volleyball."

Sugawara, who was also at their table smiled. "How about it then?" He had long ago lost interest in the slice of strawberry shortcake on his plate.

"Huh? Right here…?" Nonetheless, Hinata perked up.

Daichi chose this moment to appear beside them. "I booked a gym in a community centre that's about a five minute walk from here. I had a feeling this would happen."

All the old Karasuno members agreed to it without much trouble. Their parents had left after the ceremony. His mother wasn't picking him up until eleven, and that's if he doesn't call. As they entered the spacious hall, Hinata cheered as Daichi brought up the idea to have a game: the graduates versus the graduated. Tsukishima made a comment on their lack of wing spikers so Asahi offered to change sides, much to a silent Nishinoya's chagrin. Yamaguchi sat the game out.

The game started out even. Neither team pulled away from each other by more than 2 points. It made sense as the graduates had the offensive oddball duo while the graduated had their star libero but no high scorers. It felt like back on the first day of school; the day Kageyama joined Karasuno and found a real team.

It went on like this until after the first set, where Hinata managed to spike past Nishinoya's palm and into the very corner of the court. Tanaka let out a loud whistle. "Your accuracy has really improved, Hinata. I'M SO PROUD OF MY KOUHAI!"

From there, it went downhill. An incessant itch materialized on the back of Kageyama's neck, at the spot where the flat brims of his hair ended. He thought another bug must've bitten him on the walk here. They had a nasty habit and were attracted to his skin for some reason. He didn't permit such a lowly distraction to affect his game.

But then, at the ten point mark, the itch grew into a headache. It was akin to a wiggling sensation near the membrane of his head. Kageyama's hand found its way into his now sweaty hair more than once, checking for bugs but found none. It was while his fingers were knotted in his bangs when he sent a toss to the wrong person. The ball was blocked and slammed on their side of the net seconds later. Hinata directed him a worried look. It melted his heart a bit. _I'm fine. Hinata can still play. We'll win._

Soon enough, the balance broke. The graduated pulled ahead by 18-12. Kageyama just wanted to throw up. No one else seemed to notice but the strangely silent middle blocker.

Tanaka was flipping his shirt in the air at the set point; 24-15 in their favor. By now even Tsukishima, who had played with Kageyama as setter for three years, was beginning to get agitated. Just like Hinata, he didn't voice his thoughts out loud.

After threatening Tanaka to dress himself, Daichi sent a basic serve in their direction. Tsukishima managed to give a sturdy receive. It was all up to Kageyama to analyze the situation and score. He watched as the green and red of the ball sailed through the air five inches from his fingers; a sight he was all too familiar with. Two inches, and he bent his arms accordingly, seeking Hinata in his peripheral vision. Once inch, and his vision suddenly turned white.

It was a short episode. The frightening flash only lasted a second, but it was enough for him to miss the toss completely. It went sailing in the opposite direction towards the pole which held the net up. Kageyama could barely grasp an orange blur to his right when Hinata sprints to catch it anyway. He makes it, in exchange for his head smashing right into the metal. The body fell to the ground with a crash.

Needless to say, no one went to answer the saved ball and crowded around the unmoving boy. When he sees blood, Kageyama snaps out of it.

_Shit. Fuck. Damn it._

He had Hinata in his arms before anyone could blink. Sugawara checked the wound hidden by orange locks with gentle fingers. Daichi was busy calling the medics in the other room. Asahi scrambled for his jacket and laid it on top of Hinata's body as some source of warmth. Kageyama couldn't register any of it. The limp body had yet to respond. There's red decorating the wood and why won't it stop and how was it getting bigger, he can't have that much blood and this is impossible because Hinata hit his head every day and this _can't_ be real because when Kageyama was here, he was invincible and no pole could ruin that and he_ loved_ him.

Kageyama didn't even know he was saying all of this out loud. Not even after he finished and the room went silent all of a sudden. Then, Hinata sprung up to his feet.

"One more time!"

They all seemed to let out a breath they didn't know they were holding, except Kageyama. Everyone gathered around Hinata coercing him into sitting down as the medics now filling the room came to treat his wound. He just sat there motionless.

Sugawara rested a hand on his shoulder. "It was just a cut. His head scraped the hook a little and he has a mild concussion. That spot particularly bleeds a lot. Hinata's going to be fine."

Oh.

The grey-haired university student lifted the blood-stained jacket from Kageyama's lap. They watched as Hinata was fitted with gauze around his head right after the cut was disinfected. A middle-aged man with a bucket and mop politely asked them to move so he could clean up the blood. Sugawara excused the both of them and led Kageyama to the bleachers. There, they were given a towel to sit on so the blood pooling on his dress pants wouldn't soak the laminate.

Sugawara was the first to speak. "I'm sure Hinata didn't hear you just now."

He wasn't sure how to respond to that.

"You seemed so resolved in keeping it secret, but I think that just proved you actually want to tell him." To comfort the tongue-tied teen, he patted him on the back. He didn't need to let Kageyama know that the rest of the team would keep their mouths shut. "Hinata would never hate you no matter what."

Kageyama stared at his hands. One of his ring fingers was completely drenched in blood. _Hinata's_ blood. He clenched it so he didn't have to look at it anymore, just to realize streaks of it painted his knuckles as well. As they noticed Hinata about to skip up to them wondering why Kageyama was acting so grouchy, the latter looked Sugawara in the eye.

"Okay. I'll tell him."

-H-H-H-H-H-H-

A week later was when they had their last classes. It was essentially the teachers passing out free candy and giving speeches about how much they'll miss them like they did every year. Unlike other schools, this system persisted on ordering exams first, graduation, and then finishes off the year with one last half-day of school. It was a merciful idea that had students grateful for attending Karasuno.

The gauze was off of Hinata's cranium by the night before. The scrape healed nicely and the boy acted no different from before the accident. Since that game, Kageyama hadn't experienced that mysterious itching sensation again. The shock of what happened after was too much for him to even remember. Hinata seemed to forget about it as well. But sometimes the setter would notice Tsukishima giving him a stink eye for no reason.

When the last bell rang, cheers erupted around the hallways. It was still only noon. Hinata was the first to the door and waited for his best friend outside the other's classroom. Kageyama was slow in getting out. He was nearly the last one. Some part of him just found it amusing to watch Hinata jumping on his heels like a constipated kangaroo.

"What took you so long?" He pouted. "Think of all the ice cream we could've finished in the time it took you to stand up and walk out here!"

"That depends if you're the one eating or me, dumbass."

Hinata stuck his tongue out. They marched down the staircase and to the bike racks where students were hurriedly piling out of. Hinata unhitched his own and turned to gaze at Kageyama in excitement. "So, what do you want to do?"

Kageyama looked at a discarded banana peel hanging from one of the bike tires. Eventually, his focus went back to those gleaming warm brown eyes and he gulped. Today was the day. No, not the same 'today was the day' that he gave on graduation but another day that was much more important to him. He gave in. "I have something to tell you."

Hinata tilted his head. "What is it?"

He noticed a few students passing by staring at them. "N-Not here. I saved up some money so we could go to Katsushika. We still have to try out that café. I can tell you then, I-I mean-"

He was interrupted by one very clingy boy suddenly attacking him with a hug. "Seriously…?! Really, really? Are you serious, Kageyama?"

"Y-Yeah." He flushed red.

If possible, Hinata's grin seemed to glow more. "Yes! You may be a huge pain, yell at me a lot, and make really scary faces, but you're still amazing, Kageyama!"

"Shut up."

After a few more embarrassed blushes (on Kageyama's part) and laughs, the two agreed to meet at the train station in two hours. Hinata still had to drop off his bike and bag while Kageyama felt sweaty in his school uniform and wanted a shower.

Kageyama wanted to point out that showing up half an hour early didn't mean he was nervous. His mother had equally youthful friends over and he just didn't want to stay home any longer with them pinching his cheeks commenting on how handsome he was. It had become a weekly thing. But once his mother started talking about Hinata, he bolted out the door pronto and nearly forgot his wallet. He stood by the ticket booth outside. The blast of air from the passing trains still reached him and it felt so refreshing.

At the two hour mark, his phone rang. His heart flipped annoyingly. "…Hinata?"

"Kageyama, sorry but I'm going to be late." At the sound of wailing on the other end, the boy reiterated. "Natsu's having boyfriend problems at the age of nine."

"It's fine but, wow…she's growing up faster than you."

"HEY!" Hinata howled defensively but his voice held no real malice. "I'll have you know I'm _waaaay_ taller than I used to be!"

"Yeah, yeah, two centimeters means a lot to you. I know." Kageyama snickered as he pictured those soft cheeks in an indignant pout. He suddenly wanted to kiss him. Stupid brain. Only Hinata could do that just by talking to him over the phone. He must be crazy. "Just don't get into a fight. I don't want to have you whining about a broken lip the whole day."

"If I was planning on fighting, I would've told you to come and scare him off with a smile!"

Kageyama ignored the insult in exchange for another one. "That's the point. If I was there, there'd be no fight because I'd win in an instant."

"You're such trash." He heard Hinata laugh. "Go ahead without me. We'll meet up at Bisukyui."

"No, it's fine. I said I was paying for this trip, didn't I?"

"Oh…" There was a pause. For a moment, Kageyama thought the boy had ended the call until he heard that bright voice again. This time it was much quieter. "Okay…if you're okay with that."

"Yeah."

"Yeah…"

"…" Kageyama's eye twitched. "Aren't you going to hang up?"

"R-Right…?" He felt his lips curling into a frown. What was wrong with Hinata all of a sudden? It was a new side to him that Kageyama has never seen before. It was honestly kind of endearing. "On second thought, you hang up."

"Why should I hang up?" From a little ways across the platform, an old man peered over at Kageyama with an amused expression. He didn't notice. "Obviously the one who's making me wait should do it. If you're going to be a dumbass, go all the way."

"But that's such a jerk thing to do! You have to hang up first to balance it out."

"That's like letting you win, Hinata." He grumbled. "No free points. Just hang up already."

"I won't count it as a point, promise! Please, Kageyama? Hang up!"

"I'll have you know a tornado could hit this station right now and my mom would have to carry me out by the skin of her teeth and I'd still refuse to hang up."

"Same here-ow!" Hearing a loud bang, Kageyama's first reaction was to ask Hinata if he was okay. He could make out the scuffle of Hinata scrambling for the phone he dropped as Natsu yelled something about her onii-chan being a bully by flirting with Kage-chan over the phone. Heat instantly flared the setter's cheeks.

Kageyama hung up. Shit. He can't believe he just did that.

It wasn't the least embarrassing way to start out the day. Kageyama ended up waiting at that platform for an additional two hours rather than the promised thirty minutes he was prepared for when he first left the house. He got odd looks from the security guard now and then. You'd think they'd be used to people loitering around at a train station. If he was Asahi, Kageyama was sure he would've been arrested already. Now if he looked like a harmless middle schooler like Hinata or Nishinoya, they probably wouldn't pay him any thought at all.

When Hinata finally did show up, his hair was messier than usual and there was a wet smudge where someone had spilled ice cream on his shirt only to wipe it away with a napkin. He apologized shamelessly. It turns out he had to take Natsu out for ice cream so she'd stop bawling like a teenage girl. Fortunately the next train to Katsushika arrived a few minutes after Kageyama paid for two tickets. This one was scheduled to make a stop at a station near a small town halfway to Katsushika.

They found seats beside each other, waiting for bodies to scatter into the train. It looked like it was not a busy day. Only three-quarter of the bus was occupied. As they sat down, Kageyama noticed their thighs bumped together. The warmth beside him felt soothing and aching all at the same time. Hinata perched himself a little close. He shook the thought away. _The dumbass is too dense to know what he's doing._

Some part of him wanted to take advantage of that, even a little.

"So," his companion drawled out. "What did you want to tell me?"

"Other than you smell like pistachio? Just be patient."

A flicker of worry passed brown eyes, so fast he almost missed it. "Is that a bad thing?"

Kageyama, who had been expecting a complaint of having to wait, was caught off guard. His mouth could do nothing but tell the truth. He was sure at that moment if Hinata had asked 'do you like me' instead, he would've answered with 'I love you' in a heartbeat. "No. It's sweet."

Relief flooded Hinata. He smiled. "I see!"

And there Kageyama was stuck again. Those times he'd be cornered by Hinata's sunny smiles, his bloodstream pumped faster like it was being hit by a volleyball served into his stomach. His feet felt so cold in the middle of summer that he kept missing receives. He didn't hate it. And all he could think about was what-_who_ was causing this.

They spent the next span of time recounting Hinata's horror story with taking Natsu out to cheer her up. Despite being high school graduates, neither of them had experience dating let alone with girls which meant neither understood how they worked. The great older brother had no idea what she wanted to hear. He could only pat her shoulder in comforting circles.

Sometime while Hinata was in the middle of mentioning how he got that stain on his shirt, Kageyama looked out just in time to see a sign pass followed by a small farm. He frowned. Something was wrong.

"All passengers please remain calm." Even Hinata fell silent at this. "This is your attendant. We are currently experiencing a malfunction of the brakes and will have to wait for the car to decelerate on its own."

It seemed more than half the train didn't even hear the timid announcement. The other half immediately stood up in shock, some marching to the front to demand an explanation. Kageyama didn't care though. The only one he saw was Hinata, who suddenly clutched onto his sleeve until his knuckles turned white. "Wasn't there a car that left before us?"

They weren't book-smart but they weren't stupid. That other car has to have made several stops. The two watched as the attendant and assistants filed into the train to usher the passengers back to their seats. In the front, they heard a loud 'clang!' and the train suddenly lurched to the left, throwing all their heads awry.

Kageyama peered out the window. "It's okay, Hinata. They contacted the office and are having them change the train's route so we don't crash-" Just as he said that, the whole bus jumped up as if on a speed bump. The next thing they knew, red splattered the window adjacent to them.

People screamed.

Kageyama cursed. They had run over a smaller cart filled with construction workers in order to avoid collision with any bigger vehicles. A bullet train was designed to have minimal friction and travelled at top speeds. He wasn't naïve enough to think they'd stop so easily. But Hinata was. "K-Kageyama?"

At this point, Hinata was fully buried in his neck. Kageyama knew that in any other situation he wouldn't have dared to do it, but lifted a calloused hand to weave in orange locks. He needed to distract Hinata somehow. Whatever happened, he didn't want the one he loved to not be smiling at the last moment of it. He leaned down to whisper in his ear. "Hey, idiot."

"…"

"You know what I wanted to tell you?" Finally, amber eyes peeped out to look at him curiously. God, they were so close. "It's my biggest pain in the ass secret ever."

The train chose this moment to lurch sideways again. The tracks were switched but it was too late. He could hear the sound of screams turn into wails around them. The front of another car headed the opposite direction took out the entire back of the vehicle. Suddenly there were noises all around them. Some sort of electrical wire was sizzling not too far away. The creak of rusting metal was the base. And finally scattered breaths of those injured first were the featured.

Yet, neither of them could hear anything but Kageyama Tobio's next words.

"I love you, Shouyou."

Those amber eyes stayed glued to his own royal blue ones. They widened a fraction. But then, Kageyama couldn't see them anymore. Hinata was looking down and he couldn't tell what expression he was making at all. Was he being rejected?

Finally, Hinata spoke up. "…I-"

And everything went black.

-H-H-H-H-H-H-

*** Avatar the Last Airbender reference**

**Phew, this is my first Haikyuu! fanfiction so I hope all the characters made sense. I took the idea of amnesia from the story "Fading Colors" by katrinadianne on fanfiction dot net with permission. If you've read that junjou romantica story, you'll probably see a lot of parallels between this and her story. Thank you so much!**


	2. Black, White and Red all over

"I love you, Shouyou."

From their spot outside, Kageyama watched the addressed drop a spoonful of strawberry sundae. The metal was frozen in the air, a mere second away from being consumed. He tried focusing on the melting slush instead. Some daring side of his brain wouldn't permit that and kept Hinata's face visible at all times. It stayed locked to those same eyes he'd been seeing every day for the past three years. Over time, they began to give him feelings of mush that overcame his desire to stab each one with a fork.

He couldn't breathe and something in his chest tickled against his pounding heart.

He couldn't calm the heat and something else in his head prickled.

This was so embarrassing.

But then, Kageyama couldn't see them anymore. Hinata was looking down and he couldn't tell what expression he was making at all. Was he being rejected?

Finally, Hinata spoke up. "…I've been meaning to say something, Kageyama."

Kageyama wanted to punch himself in the face when he felt the contents of his stomach churn in anticipation. Every nerve in his body clouded his usually perceptive mind as he had no doubt this meant Hinata was willing to give this a try. Nothing made him feel more ridiculously happy. And this _idiot_ was doing this to him.

Hinata gave a smile that seemed off. "Just keep tossing to me, 'kay?"

That euphoric feeling turned black.

"…S-Seriously? I pour my heart out to you and that's-"

The smile grew wider. It didn't look like the middle blocker's face anymore. He knew, because this smile didn't make his veins race a hundred miles per hour. It reminded Kageyama of those masks with the gold paint and feathers hanging off of them. "You should be happy you're getting just that."

He fell silent. Every comeback died on his tongue. He couldn't even ask what it was Hinata wanted to say. Thankfully, the shorter boy seemed to read his mind.

"You've made me really strong. Your sets are so amazing! It's like everyone says. We're the best together." A young couple passed by holding hands. The sight burned his own. "But it's just a luxury now. I don't need you anymore, Kageyama."

This pissed him off. The setter sprang up. In his haste, the strawberry sundae spilled on the white countertop. They both ignored it. "W-What's with you?! You don't have to act like a JACKASS because you don't feel the same way!" Every word made tears bundle in his eyelids. Saying them made the rejection feel so much more real.

"What can you do, other than toss?"

Once more, Kageyama found himself speechless. He wasn't like Hinata. Everyone who met him didn't fall in love with him. People didn't crowd around as moths to the light. He was snappish and scary and no girls or boys ever approached him. His hair and awkward expressions never fell the right way. His body was tall and lanky; he looked like the scrooge, ugly and depressing, by Hinata's side day in and day out. He was nothing but a tiny insignificant bug hanging off Hinata's sleeve, hoping that some of the warmth would rub off onto him. Of course, this person wouldn't like him back. He was only with him because Kageyama had his tosses. Whatever this sudden wash of inferiority, of uselessness to his sun, was, it wasn't heartbreak.

"So just keep tossing to me, 'kay?" Hinata repeated with a grin.

It felt worse.

Suddenly, Hinata was on the ground. The umbrella shielding them from the sun became a shadow of a man. He held a knife the silver of the moon with streaks of red. Kageyama blanched. _What the hell?_

He didn't have time to react. That same passing couple he saw a minute ago materialized from within Bisukyui's windows and snapped photos. The setter glared at them. There was nothing interesting to look at, dammit. Some people couldn't mind their own business. Another strange noise made him whip his head down. The long-forgotten spilled ice cream was bubbling. How was it turning red? The chef might've dropped some food coloring in there.

Except, the red wasn't mushy or creamy, it fell thick on his fingers like blood. Instinctively, he thought _Hinata_. And as if someone read his mind, as if he was the one who did it, there was suddenly a knife in Hinata's chest.

Kageyama couldn't think straight. He tripped twice in the three feet it took to get to the limp body. He must've messed up somewhere. But he couldn't recall waking up this morning. There was no memory of them purchasing their treats while bickering about sprinkles, nor taking one road as opposed to the other. All he could remember doing was _I love you, Shouyou_ and somehow that had caused this. Fuck himself for being so selfish. He ruined everything.

He shook the unmoving body. This had to be a really stupid joke. Shaking fingers flipped Hinata over, expecting some horror-stricken face to break his heart. Instead, he was met with a blank look. Amber eyes were so dull from what he could only describe as disappointment. His lips were curled in pent-up frustration. The mask with the pretend-smile was gone. It didn't suit the ball of sunshine at all.

Kageyama, from what his mind interpreted as three hours later, realized _that_ was the real expression Shouyou was wearing the moment he confessed. He made Hinata Shouyou look that way. He took away his smile. His corpse was lifeless.

_I'm sorry for confessing. Please wake up._

All he could do to fix it was _toss, toss, and toss_.

_Because I'll make you invincible. Even though you're gone._

-H-H-H-H-H-H-

"Clear!"

A shock brought him out of it. Suddenly, Kageyama wasn't on an empty court tossing to nowhere for eternity. He wasn't reliving his nightmare. There was no barren, bloody body or strawberry ice cream. He was in a bed that smelled of disinfectant. Every part of his muscles, bones, and tissues ached. That familiar itch was back on his neck. He needed water.

"Heart rate returned!" A voice from far away was accompanied by many silent sighs. "Pulse is 40 and inclining."

Did he stumble into a hospital? Or perhaps, he had left the television on and fell asleep against his study books again. It must've been one of those late night dramas. Kageyama knew his mother would lecture him before leaving for school today. He'd tell Hinata at lunch and the bright boy would laugh. If Hinata was still willing to talk to him, it'd be a blessing.

"Good work everyone."

Kageyama looked around at the darkness for the corpse. There was none. The volleyballs were ash. He was alone with his thoughts. What was real anymore? His memory almost branched into two paths. One had something to do with a train crash, while the other involved the events that led him to the empty court.

It took a minute for Kageyama to realize the latter vision at the café must've been a dream. Ice cream that turned red and umbrellas that were actually men with knives weren't real. But unlike those two, his love confession was very real. Shit, he was unsure before but now he _knew _Hinata didn't feel the same way. Every last corner of his brain screamed this at him until he was convinced. And it hurt more once he realized it was because he wanted to admit his god damn feelings that this happened.

Finally, after staring into the abyss of nothingness for what seemed like hours, he heard shuffling.

That incessant need to drown a glass of water returned. With it, the darkness was traded in exchange for piercing ceiling lights. One blue eye cracked open. Adjacent, Kageyama could make out a small gasp.

"Y-You're awake!" It was a young male nurse.

Kageyama stayed conscious for all of ten seconds before falling asleep once more.

The next time he was roused enough to pick up sounds, a man in a white coat was probing around his stomach with a gloved hand. He noticed the teen's breathing pick up and sent him a gentle smile. "Hello. How are you feeling?"

"Where's Hin…?" His voice croaked. There was a breathing tube lodged into his esophagus.

The doctor softened at this. "Before that, can you follow my finger?" The hand that was on his bruised stomach was guided into triangular patterns. Kageyama kept his eyes on it without much trouble. "Good, this is a positive sign. My name is Doctor Kuma."

Kageyama flinched a little as calculated fingers reached past his jaw and gently wedged the tube out. The plastic hit his gag reflex and made him cough almost violently. Damn, so it was him who was being treated.

"You're very lucky, young man. You experienced massive lacerations on your stomach along with everyone else on the train. However your body specifically was thrown just under a broken sewage pipe which poured into your wounds." Kageyama cringed. He stopped when it sent an aching pain to his temples. Kuma chuckled at this. "It sounds unsanitary, but the viscosity was just right to clog the cuts so you didn't bleed to death. There is a downside though."

"Where's Hinata?" Kageyama repeated. His voice was weak. He didn't need to hear this shit. Until his middle blocker was either by some miracle bounding in front of him with a toothy grin, ready to return all the love Kageyama was willing to shower him with, or more likely was at his throat yelling hurtful words towards the setter to ripe his heart into millions of pieces, his mind couldn't rest.

"You're more susceptible to infection. We were so focused on saving your life that we haven't run all the tests yet. We will be monitoring you for the next few weeks-"

"Please," Kageyama was beginning to grow desperate. "Where is Hinata Shouyou?"

"Disclosing such information right now is against my better judgment."

The boy was pissed all over again. His head hurt, the itch by his neck was worse than he remembered, he didn't know what day it was, and he still couldn't discern reality from fantasy. Now this random stranger who didn't know anything kept ranting on about him being lucky when Hinata fucking sunshine-flying-boy Shouyou wasn't by his side.

"Your better judgment is about to land you five years of volleyballs being jump served into your head if you don't tell me what happened to him." Kuma sighed. It only served to fuel Kageyama's rage further.

"You're a good boy, Tobio-kun." The doctor's face tensed into a hardened stare. "I was one of the doctors on scene who had to ripe your body away from the boy beneath you because you refused to let go. You took most of the damage for him too. I knew from that moment that I wanted to be the one to look after your health. Please understand, there were over eighty people on that train. Only nineteen didn't die on impact. Six of these survivors have already been announced dead these past few days-"

"Don't give me that!" The setter snapped, ignoring the piercing pain in his abdomen as he shifted. This can't be. Years of hard work and training and aiming for the world just for _this_? The other man tried to calm him down. "How is he?!"

Finally, Kuma gave in. "I do not know, Tobio-kun."

At that, Kageyama's glare sharpened. What kind of doctor danced around confirming someone's…

No. He didn't want to think about it.

Hinata is _not_ dead. He refused to believe it. Throwing that guy off a building wouldn't kill him.

"Your body had to be transferred to this hospital an hour away because the local infirmary didn't have the necessary tools to perform the correct surgery on your stomach." He noticed the older man begin whipping sweat off his brow. "If you're talking about the one beside you, he was alive on the scene, but was carried to another hospital."

Kageyama wanted to sigh in relief, but something was wrong.

"All I know is the number, not the names nor injuries. I advise you to be prepared for the worst."

After that, Doctor Kuma proceeded with more tests. One involved a pen light and naming the letters, while another was a stethoscope pressed to his back as he attempted to move his fingers. Kageyama didn't speak for the rest of the time. The man had mentioned something about his mother sleeping in the lobby. When he was alone again, he could only gawk at his fingers; they didn't look like his own. An IV wire connected to his wrists left an unpleasant swelling spot. He imagined Hinata's blood.

It was so bright and red.

_I'm sorry for confessing. Just live, okay?_

He outlined the scars on his stomach. It was hard to believe he was on the brink of death. What a gruesome end that would've been. He lied back down. There's no way he could sleep now. Kageyama contented himself by listening to the beeps of the heart monitor. It was annoying and high-pitched. "Just like that idiot's voice." He smirked half-heartedly. The heart monitor quickened.

Just as he anticipated, he couldn't rest. He didn't know how much time passed, but the window by his bedside was dark when his sluggish mother walked through the doors. She looked like she aged more in the past day than the last thirty years.

Upon seeing her precious son, her demeanor brightened immediately. She scurried up to him, throwing her arms around Kageyama in a vice-grip. "Tobio…! I-It really is a miracle!" He choked slightly. Before he could reply, the woman dropped her bag on a chair and pulled out a cutting board along with fresh fruits. She got to work right away, slicing them into volleyball shapes. "Now you must eat a lot of Vitamin C! These oranges will help with your digestive system too, not like all that nasty stuff in the tubes they're giving you here."

Despite himself, Kageyama felt his lip twitch up. "I'm fine, mom. But…thanks."

She paused, just enough to plop a slice of peach into Kageyama's mouth. "Less talking; more recovering."

It was a week and a half before the hospital gave him permission to leave intensive care for a few hours and visit the town of Karasuno. The itch on his neck persisted. Kageyama refused to accept it actually got worse as the days passed on. It was his imagination, for sure.

A female nurse was required to escort him on the trip, leaving his mother behind on the insistence that she had missed too many days of work. The tires of the wheelchair clanged against every sidewalk and stair. It hit a bar on the way and an umbrella fell in front of him. Kageyama nearly screeched. If he now had a phobia of umbrellas, Hinata was going to pay. Stupid wheelchair. He insisted the vehicle was unnecessary but at this point, walking long distances did tire his legs a little. The stubborn setter had no doubt he'd be back to his old self in no time. It sucked feeling so helpless.

Kageyama was nervous. He leered at his own arm to stop shaking. This was going to be the first time he would see Hinata in what felt like forever. Four days after he initially woke up, the news released a list of survivors. Dancing right above his own name spelt '_Hinata Shouyou_' in big black letters. Apparently no one else with names between H and K lived.

It made him a bit sick. That was when the reality of it really hit. All these people were gone while he and his partner went up against all odds and continued breathing.

On the way, they passed a florist shop after getting off the bus. Kageyama grabbed onto the closest thing to make them stop. Unfortunately, it was a dog leash. The canine growled at him. Kageyama sent it a look, turning on his Spartan flames. Eventually it backed down and whined. He deserved it, that little beast.

"D-Do you want to go in?" The nurse held back the urge to run for the hills.

Bringing his attention back to the shop, Kageyama nodded. He already had an orange and blue volleyball in his hands, something he bought from the local gift shop a week ago as a present for Hinata. There was no doubt it was enough to keep him happy but some girly flowers wouldn't hurt…right? As the bell tingled, his eyes were drawn to the selection of roses right away.

The display at front showcased a single red rose wrapped in a gold plastic and ribbon. Beneath the array pinned a card with the words '_I love you_' in cursive. Beside it was a bouquet of many pink roses donning a similar slip of paper except with '_Appreciation, Admiration_' printed instead. A little further ways were some yellow ones symbolizing friendship. Kageyama never bothered with the language of flowers. It all seemed like just a ploy from narcissistic farmers until now. He shuffled sideways to notice bouquets of different sizes. Not only the color but the number of roses mattered too.

He didn't want to mess up again.

The nurse was about to tell him if he was going to buy anything, when his eyes trailed back to the single red rose. Kageyama flushed and bogeyed it out of the store as soon as possible. _I-I'll get them n-next time…_

Screw flowers. The manly volleyball was enough.

That vexing twitch in his fingers like he was showing up empty-handed wasn't him at all. It was just getting cold outside. Besides, he had a gift. Hinata would probably make him toss to him in the middle of the room, diving for the save and getting Kageyama kicked out. He was that kind of moron. The teen was so overwhelmed, he didn't bother to think that Hinata was anything but okay.

So, when the nurse wheeled him past the white doors of '304', Kageyama was expecting Hinata to metaphorically jump him with all his energetic sunshine and complaints of the volleyball tournament on channel 121. He was met with silence instead.

There was a lump in the pillows. Through the blankets, he could make out a tuff of oily orange hair that'd lost almost all its shine. His hibernating heart sped up. Without bothering to wait for the nurse to push him in, Kageyama raced to the unconscious boy's bedside. The heart monitor beeped in a lower pitch than his own. There was a massive pile of sparkly cards and a basket of hard candies in the corner. On top of them lay four bouquets of varying orange and yellow flowers. It figured. Hinata probably had people he'd met twice coming to visit, while Tobio only had his mother and the air he breathed dotting on him. He was used to it.

What was this dumbass doing? He had made sure to contact Hinata's mother to let her know of his visit. If anything, he wouldn't be able to sleep. _Unless_…he really was upset with the confession.

Kageyama shook the thought away. Hinata looked so pale all of a sudden. It was too eerie to see this face he came to know with anything but a healthy red flush behind it at all times. The sun had morphed into a snowman. Akin to his own circumstances, his middle blocker also had a breathing tube, but this one extended to his nose as ten different wires penetrated his body. Hinata was always small but right now, he reminded Kageyama of an infant.

He brought up a finger to poke him but was stopped by a blonde woman in a doctor's coat. "Please refrain from irritating the patient."

"Sorry." He mumbled. He would've leapt up in surprise if he wasn't used to his teammates sneaking behind him. "How long is he going to sleep?"

"That would be up to him, sir."

Kageyama nodded, slightly annoyed at her attitude. He looked away to glare at a tile on the wall. Behind them, the nurse who escorted him giggled. "I'll stay until he wakes up then."

She raised an eyebrow in confusion. Then, as if finally realizing something, a long painted finger was brought to her forehead to hide a grimace.

"Sir, Hinata-san has been asleep for two weeks now."

Kageyama was pretty sure he forgot how to breathe.

-H-H-H-H-H-H-

The next stop was his house.

"Are you alright, Tobio-kun?" Lost in thought, he realized the nurse was addressing him. He had been subconsciously scratching at that spot on his collar. Kageyama grunted. She dismissed the question.

His cell phone was destroyed in the accident. It came as a surprise when Kageyama opened the doors to the home just to find exactly three hundred and seventy-two messages on the answering machine. _Why are there so many._ His curiosity got the better of him. He halted in the middle of staring in disgust at the molding food on the kitchen table to press the play button.

"_Hey celeb's! I saw your name on television again last night._" Navy blue eyes widened. It was Tanaka's voice. "_I wonder if any of those names belong to a cute girl. It would be a good conversation starter for the great senpai. You better let me know if you meet any of them, Kageyama._"

The machine beeped. This time it was Daichi on the other end. "_It's me again. The team's doing really well…_" He talked of how he recently got promoted from vice-captain at the local team before giving his goodbyes.

The next one was a call of Natsu. She talked of how her onii-chan was stuck in a deep spell like Sleeping Beauty and Kage-chan had to come and wake him up with a kiss. The setter flushed. Natsu passed the baton to her mother, who thanked him for protecting her son. The house was soon filled with the melody of his old teammates' and friends' voices.

It made the dreary room seem so much livelier.

Before he knew it, Kageyama found himself smiling. His nurse excused herself to the other room so he could spend the rest of the day listening to them.

There was a very frantic Sugawara. He firmly asked for the location of Kageyama's hospital in over three dozen of the messages. Nishinoya ranted about how officials refused to let him know where they transferred him, milking some excuse that they weren't related by blood. Tanaka bragged about this amazing life-size get well card he made. Asahi and Daichi gave him advice on nutritious foods with the latter lecturing about good hospital manners. A timid Yamaguchi wished him well. There were even two calls from Tsukishima. They were short, stuck-up and annoyed him though. Kageyama realized then why none of his teammates visited him. He suddenly felt so lonely.

When the messages reached the last fifty, he realized they were playing in reverse order so the newest calls would be heard first.

Kageyama jumped when Kindaichi was coughing through the phone. "_D-Don't think I'm going to apologize for junior high, ever! It's just-dammit! You're a great setter, okay?_" There was another cough. "_Don't just die, you retard! That's all!_" The receiver was slammed. These were the calls from before the news had revealed any survivors. To the world then, he and Hinata were deceased.

The next five came from Asahi, who kept pressing the end call button and cutting himself off due to his shaking fingers. "_H-Haha, I f-feel like I'm talking to a ghost no-now._" He joked.

Nishinoya was no better. "_I-I know you're not dead! And when you show up at our doorst-step, I can be the one who said 'I told ya so'!_" He offered the advantage of not randomly ending his calls but his rants were so extremely long that it had to be split into two messages. The libero dropped the phone every other sentence. There was sniffling muffled out by loud music in the background. He was trying so hard to uphold a confident stance, it made Kageyama want to call him back first.

Sugawara was strangely silent at his turn. He kept pausing. There were moments it seemed like he just left the phone on by accident and the setter was a finger away from skipping the message until the gentle man spoke again. It was during those moments where he could pick up slight choking on the other end.

Then there was Daichi, thanking him for what he's done for the team. He was the most composed out of everyone. It was all stuff he'd expect the captain to say, until "_I know you don't believe me, but we weren't just teammates. You were a very good friend, Kageyama, even without volleyball…I pray you can figure that out with Hinata too where the two of you are now._"

"_You bastard, we're friends!_" Tanaka wailed.

"_I hope…"_ It was Sugawara again. _"That you let Hinata know how you feel at least."_

Kageyama felt wetness on his cheeks. _His friends_…he really had some. They were wiped away indignantly. Hinata's sappiness was rubbing off on him. That's all.

The last recording ended; it was a call from the police which undoubtedly sounded in the middle of his mother setting up the dinner table. There was a plate smashed into pieces on the ground. Kageyama was sure he would've accidentally cut himself if he wasn't on a wheelchair. He went to pick up the receiver.

_Who should I call first?_ He owed them all that much, at least.

His fingers moved on their own. It was probably due to old habits, but the phone number of Daichi began taking form on the screen. He was his ex-captain on the outside. Inside, he was more of a really scary father to him. If he didn't let Daichi know that things were fine, Kageyama was sure he'd be found in a dark alleyway somewhere tied to a vending machine.

He planned to call Sugawara next. Hopefully the fellow setter wouldn't bring up his feelings in their conversation. Then, of course, Nishinoya and Tanaka took third along with Asahi. God knows he'll probably be the one calming down the gentle giant the whole time. There would be a remark on Tsukishima as well, but _only_ because Kageyama had a well-formed comeback for the insults tall, moody, and with a stick up his butt left on his answering machine. He wanted to call Hinata's family last. It was nearing evening, but the nurse was in no hurry to return. All this time could be spent with his friends he missed so much.

Some part of him began hoping,_ believing_, that they all wouldn't hate him since he was the one who wanted to confess his feelings. He was the one who dragged Hinata on that subway and probably made him cry in those final moments. He put their lovable sunshine in a coma. Hinata will wake up, he was sure of it. They could still be together now that they've graduated.

_Maybe things are looking up._

It was the last thought that crossed his mind as his finger hovered over the call button. That cursed itch was suffocating. A smile was on his lips when that headache returned. His body swayed. Like bugs creeping through his skull all over again, his vision turned white once more. Kageyama fell.

The nurse came sprinting back at the sound of the phone hitting the floor.

He was back.

That abyss of nothing that stretched for eons surrounded an empty court. The volleyballs weren't ash anymore. He could hold them tightly in his hands. But instead of tossing, Kageyama sought an exit. He didn't need to keep tossing to find everyone. They were his _friends_. They were not here just for his tosses. A random direction was chosen. He took it. He'd keep walking but always end up coming back to the same court.

When he came to, his mother was bawling.

"I…" Kageyama cursed. The woman bolted up from her mess. "I feel like crap."

To his surprise, she only crushed him in another embrace which rivalled Hercules. Kageyama blinked. He scrunched his face to try to comprehend what she was saying. It was a fruitless effort. She only spewed out jumbled words that sounded like a foreign language. Awkwardly, Tobio lifted a hand to pat her on the back. "What's wrong, mom?"

"Welcome back, Tobio-kun." As Doctor Kuma's speech was actually legible, Kageyama switched his attention to the old man. Her hug pushed one of his legs against the corner of the table, but he didn't move away from it. "You fainted from intense cranium stress and were taken back to the hospital."

He nodded. That made sense.

Kuma finally convinced his mother to release him in favor of resting back on the chair. He had a clipboard with unknown results. It reminded him of those times the teacher would patrol the class to access learning skills or some other finicky thing that had nothing to do with volleyball. "As you've apperceived, all the general area tests for infections we carried out came back negative. We had to switch gears and start with more specialized diagnoses."

Damn, long words.

"When you fainted from head pain, we ran a CAT scan of your brain." His mother turned hysterical. She interrupted Kuma with a loud cry. A passing nurse had to escort her back to the waiting room.

"Let her back in. She needs to hear this too." Kageyama protested.

The doctor retracted his pen to place in his breast pocket. "She already knows, Tobio-kun." With that, he flipped the clipboard over to a greenish scan of a brain. In the corner was red ink circling white spots where blood clots were forming. "You came in contact with an infection at least three months ago. A certain species laid eggs next to your spinal cord. It didn't hatch until a little before the accident, and should've died off on its own. However, because of the sewage pipe, it found food and multiplied."

Kageyama couldn't stop staring at the laminated scan. He didn't know what any of it meant. A wobbly wrist lifted to trace the soles of his fingers against the red ovals. Kuma continued. "You have been under heavy sedation with antibiotics for 10 hours. The infection won't spread anymore, but the damage to your brain has been done-"

"Can I still play volleyball?" Kageyama cut him off. _With Hinata._

"You have a year." He drew little arrows around the clots indicating a spread. He reiterated. "A year until you lose your sight completely."

-H-H-H-H-H-H-

The halls were dim. Some lights above him flickered on and off, say, about one in every seven. This was the place nearly all the crash victims were deported to for recovery. All forms of extra power, including the lights, were being used to fuel hundreds of devices which kept them alive.

Sugawara gathered the patterned basket into his arms. In it held about ten different types of protein bars and bananas. Really, that Tanaka bringing in candy would not help Hinata from a nutritional standpoint. Plus he had to make sure the temperature wasn't too hot or cold and the comforter covering Hinata's thinning body was tucked in.

After knocking, he straightened his stance and walked in. Some voice in his head had a habit of creating these illusions where Hinata would be awake and greeting him. As always, he was only greeted by beeps. "It's me again. How are you feeling today?"

He made his way to the ever growing pile of gifts. It'd been exactly a month today since the day of the crash. The hyperactive boy had yet to twitch let alone wake up. It sent an unspoken chill down everyone's spines. They knew the longer Hinata stayed in a coma, the less likely he was to respond.

Sugawara brushed aside the items into neat piles. There was one present he never dared to touch though. A week ago, he and Daichi were paying a visit when they discovered a bouquet of over ten black roses sitting ominously on the counter. _Death._ Black roses meant death. Someone had given up on Hinata. They had no name on the label. It made them both shrink away. After chucking the object into the corner with the rest of the goodies, the team made a silent oath not to go near them again. The subject of who sent them was taboo. Though, Tanaka had been pointing accusing fingers at any random passerby for days after that. He never brought the finger close to anyone at Karasuno thankfully.

The grey-haired man scooted a plastic chair next to the bed. There was a plasticine unicorn with Natsu's name on it beside him. He laughed. "That's new. Natsu-chan must have made it in art class and wanted to show you. She's a good girl."

Silence answered him.

"I feel a bit ashamed. Kageyama was the first one to think of bringing a volleyball as a gift. Everyone agreed that his present was the best. It was much better than those pork buns Ukai delivered. They started molding and we had to throw them out. Sorry, Hinata." Sugawara scratched his head abashed.

A bird chirped from outside.

"None of us have seen or spoken to him in a month though." At this point, the forced smile was gone. "He's probably too upset to face any of us. You're going to have to talk sense into him, Hinata. He would twist his eyebrows a lot, but that just means Kageyama's really happy."

He clenched the sheets. The doctors told him when he checked in. If Hinata didn't respond in the next 12 hours, his chances of survival would fall close to zero. He managed to stay composed for the rest of the trek. Now the emotions came spilling out. "He protected you. You only have head injuries; you can still play volleyball if you wanted to. Don't you want to wake up?" Realizing the fabric beginning to bruise his fingers, Sugawara let go. "You have someone who loves you a lot. You want to see Kageyama again, right? He would like that."

When there was no reply, he felt tears clouding his vision. Sugawara wouldn't let them fall no matter what. It was forfeiting hope. Hinata was like…a son to him. He was losing a son. So caught up in his inner battle, he didn't notice the slightest rustle of the sheets. He finally blinked them away, just to come face to face with one bleary brown pupil gazing back at him.

His instincts kicked in. He was by the bed and pressing the button on the wall like a madman in an instant. Doctors rushed in not five seconds later. Some nurses went to check his vital signs. By now, Hinata had his eyes squinted to block the blinding sunlight. His sweaty body twitched restlessly. The blonde doctor who was assigned to him gently commanded him not to move. "Take one step at a time. Open your eyes."

The confused boy complied. Sugawara had never been so relieved to see a routine checkup. She stared into the nerves of his eyes before finally taking the light away. The woman faced Sugawara with a half-smile. "There appears to be no brain damage. Now that he's awake, his recovery is guaranteed."

"Thank you." Sugawara wanted to laugh. He bowed graciously. "Isn't that great, Hinata?"

Through the plastic in his throat, the orange-haired boy stared blankly at him and choked.

"W-Who's…Hinata?"

-H-H-H-H-H-H-

*** Black roses can also symbolize farewell. Eleven roses assure the recipient that they are deeply loved.**


End file.
